I attended my first Pig Save Vigil in Guelph today. I’m pretty sure it had the effect on me that I wanted it to have. By the time we left, despite how guilty I felt about it given the context, my stomach was rumbling because I had eaten breakfast so early to get there when we wanted to. But I distinctly remember thinking to myself: I would rather starve than ever eat meat again. And this is obviously the reaction that I was hoping for by going. I wanted to make my vegetarianism/veganism foolproof. No cravings or temptations are ever gonna hit me after hearing the sounds I heard today. My mom usually gets a fancy ham at New Years. I know I’m going to hear screams when I see it sitting on the table.
I got to pet two of them before one of the trucks crossed the property line. Later, I was hesitant to wash my hands, because they were dead now and I was washing away the last traces of them. But I’ll never forget them.
I’m really stumped for words tonight. Normally I’ve got a lot to say about everything and have no trouble having words flow out of me. But today… all I’ve got is… how horrible. I feel ashamed of the person I was a month ago, but my friend reminded me to stay positive and proud that I am bettering myself and hopefully educating those around me when I can.
Now it’s time to focus on the good things that happened today. I made a new vegan friend. We all went to a delicious veggie/vegan resteraunt for lunch afterwards. And I came home and took out one of my new cook books, went to the grocery store, and now I’ve got a delicious smelling meal simmering away in my slow-cooker. I didn’t quite get as inspiring a day as my friend E got after attending her first pig save vigil; that was the night where we had a vegan food party and she and her sister took me to some grocery stores to show me the stuff they like and what brands to look for and what not because it timed up perfectly with when I had cut out meat and had decided I was going to be working towards cutting out dairy and eggs as well. She got a little sliver of hope that the world is becoming a better place. I have delicious food surrounding me. But maybe my cooking is my weapon of choice. I love making new and interesting foods and sharing them with people, who knows, maybe I’ll contribute to making vegan seem less daunting to some people as well.